Sunday 1 June 2008


I suppose in a way I AM a zimmer-frame-clubber, since, in case you were not absolutely clear from my profile,, I have been alive 75 years, it's just inside that I am 40 and would love to go clubbing. Anyway, I dont actually have a zimmer frame (yet) and I dont - often - go clubbing. The last time was two years ago in a town which shall be nameless where, at 9.30 pm the only place to get some food was a gallery above a night-club, where the DJ was stationed. I was with my then 19 year old Godson, strange enough picture in itself since he certainly qualified for down-stairs. The order for food had to be written down and the most urgent need was for a teacher of sign language. The inside of my head was taken over by the outside and I couldnt even hear my inner voice: my constant and faithful companion. Lovely food, though, and when we'd eaten enough just to survive we stood up to go. The DJ apologised for the noise - to me, not to the 19 year old, at least, I thought that's what he'd said, so with a presence of mind that astounded me, I suggested he turn it up so I could hear it better next time.

What more about me? More incongruity: I am married, but not married. I've been married, twice, to the same man. Now we dont live together - he has other arrangements - but we've been in one another's lives for 56 years and are very good friends, relatives, you might say. I live alone, but not alone. My beloved companion has two legs more than I have, with lots of tortoiseshell fur and a loud purr. She is not a happy friend when I want to turn over in bed and she has just got comfortable on top of me. (Bed things are definitely an issue if you are 75 on the outside and 40 on the in.) Three children, but not children, all middle-aged, no grandchildren but several surrogates. Said Godson says I am archaic. How can that be when you are really only 40?

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