Teaching ones Grandmother to suck eggs is a phrase I have never got my understanding around. Of course, I do know that it means it is unwise to teach Grandma something she undoubtedly knows already, but why "suck eggs"? I didn't know either of my Grandmothers. I do know the ethos of my family, though, and sucking eggs doesn't strike me as having been a routine pastime for family visits.
What I have in mind at the moment is, nevertheless, egg-related. Think of an egg-timer: Turn it upside down from its Grandma position and there you have "advice for the young". Once again, my pedantry would like to clear things with the youngster-in- an- old - container basis of this blog. I think it works, Besides, a pedant with a terminal illness has to look passed its ps and qs occasionally. Right, first piece of advicce. 1) Keep fit. Your ancient body will have enough to cope with so muscle-neglect during earlier times can only present a doodled- on sheet of paper on which to sketch your older mobility. 2) Watch your teeth. Those of us brought up in the second world war have had to be extra vigilant. Regular dental care was not always possible. Preparation for your day can take long enough without the added hassle of organising teeth and avoiding apples. 3) Leave your hair alone. Well, not entirely alone. By all means wash, dry, brush, comb and even pop in a few rollers if it would help the shape. Have it well cut. Do not colour. False hair doesn't go with real skin . It just doesn't so keep your hair in good condition and don't pretend grey is brown. 4) Don't use energy to find romance if your are not already in a relationship of some standing. Romance is lovely but tiring, demanding, frustrating and with rules that may have changed since you did it last. A warm, funny, conversational companion spells romance after three score years and ten. There's a bonus if the physical stuff is possible, too, but see (1) above. 5) Read the papers. You can only too easily be left in the cold while the younger attendees of a gathering discuss, argue and fear the portent of current news. No time to read? Don't pretend: you do have time enough now you have almost none of the duties of your younger days. 6) Try to ration discourse which begins " when I was your age/young/fit/working" Few younger companions will give a d..n. 7) Accept that long-term givens may turn in to present impossibilities. You may have been used to walking along the banks of the river Ure mile after mile with lunch at a pub twelve miles on. Be thankful, now, that there is a pub at the top of your road. 8) If you didn't learn Italian or German or re-learn Welsh, be straight with yourself. You were neglectful: live with it. 9) Above all, relax. you are whom you are. Time to let yourself off the persistent struggle to be a better person. ,Good enough is good enough Prynhawn da