Friday, 10 March 2017

Bucket holes

It is quite normal, as I have been given to understand, to make a list of things to acomplish in the last paragraph of one's life. You will realise, of course, that this is the affectionately named "Bucket List".  I have been thinking about this and realised I have left it a bit late physically to do the things that might have gone in to my Bucket.  However, I have made the discovery that in this unique Bucket there is a hole.  A pile of things will, thus, unwanted, have disappeared in to the void.

Things- dropped- through-the-hole-in- my-Bucket list ( in no particular order):   1) Potatoes which are not fully cooked.  I have never understood why a raw carrot is delicious while a par-boiled potato is an abomination  2) The habit of television providers of minimising the cast list at the end of a play or film in order to 'trail' another forthcoming programme. You can hear my teeth grind all the way to the laptop to look up the cast list, full size, via a search engine. 3) the use of a plural where a singular is called for as in " one in four have...whatever. 4) Bayonet light bulbs that won't screw in to the fitting together with 'daylight' spiral bulbs which give a ghastly white light or light which is insufficient even to light my thoughts . 5)  The Wizard of Cyberspace: naturally.  6) The feeling of being left out/not wanted.  7)  Full price parking fines when I have never received the first notice which allows you to settle for half the price. 8) The strip at the bottom of my laptop which is the private province of the Wizard who regularly uses it to wipe out an entire, finished piece of work which can't be found anywhere on earth nor in cyberspace even though I have 'saved' religiously all the way along..I have resorted to placing a glass cube engraved with a small cat on the space in the hope it will train my wrists to keep the H..l off. (Note to self: if the cat were black would that make me the Witch of Cyberspace?)   9) Umbrellas which blow inside out in the wind.  How can we go to the moon but not keep shelter over our heads in a storm? 10) Over-ripe bananas  11) "I'll ring you tomorrow"  which turns out to be euphemistic for ' one of these days'.  12) A dish in a restaurant described in its full glory which has, however, neglected to advertise it contains chilli. That would make it its partial glory, of course. 13) A relay of music on the radio which neglects to tell you who the players were -  see 2) above.  The dropped out pile is beginning to look endless and may well keep me occupied in frivolous musing until the time comes when my foot will, perforce, encounter the rim of my holey bucket. Prynhawn da

1 comment:

Lydia said...

Dear Liz
What a fun idea. I wouldnt have enough space or time left to list what I would hope to lose through the hole in my bucket